A Wish Your Butt Makes

Farting and burping – I’m no stranger to that. Of course, I try not to do it in public places or at banquets, but I never had to really hold my gas in when I’m with my family and close friends. In a day, I probably produce gas with the equivalent energy of an atomic bomb.

And yes, I’m polite enough to say EXCUSE ME all the time. It is organic. Like passing gas.

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Anyways, I mean passing gas is au naturel, and as human beings, we are all definitely aware of the existence of our butthole and its multifarious functions. And really, farting is one of life’s simple pleasures.

If one is not embarrassed to admit that he/she is okay with another person sticking something in it (anal sex), why hesitate to relax the muscle at the lower end of the rump and allow gas from your gut to just escape?

Let it go. Such bodily function really is a specimen of human perfection. And in my opinion, farts are also vital to the success of any relationship. It truly impacts intimacy. The frontage must crack eventually.

A few weeks ago I had dinner with my three best friends and husbands and a baby. We later went to their hotel room to chill for a bit more. Between discussions and jokes, a husband farted so very loudly that nobody can avoid acknowledging its solid roar! Everyone cracked into a lawless laughter. And it happened twice within half an hour!

Now that’s intimacy. And that’s the beauty of our close-to-a-decade relationship. We are comfortable enough to loosen our corset of civility and just be ourselves. We embrace every flaw, every idiosyncrasy, every irritating habit including every fart (and burp).

Already some of us have problems like lactose intolerance, food taking longer to pass through the intestines, bad metabolism and what not, why torture yourself restricting the locomotion of your breadbasket?

Like wearing corsets and body shapers. Those really bothers me. I detest the idea of wearing them.

Reason being, they increase the pressure on your breadbasket and make it more difficult for the gas to pass along normally which then result in sayyy… bloating (duh) and constipation.

Farting may be socially inconvenient, but it’s good to get rid of this gas. Abdominal pain is no joke. And repressing that monstrous gas of yours for hours can really cause hemorrhoids! A frequent visit to the bathroom due to diarrhea is bad enough, why summon hemorrhoids?

I’m just saying that farting (and burping) should be embraced. And farting (and burping) shows you’re comfortable. If you’re comfortable enough to fart (and burp) in front of a friend, there is truly nothing you can’t do in front of him/her. Farts show you have nothing to hide.

Think about it, in China, you can actually get a job as a professional fart-smeller! And that’s the beauty of farts! They prove that anything is possible. After all, according to health experts, passing gas frequently is actually a sign of good health.

All our lives, we are restricted from farting whenever we like. But really, just let that butt make a wish!

Don’t do it in public places when you’re surrounded by people but do not hold it in. Be kind to your system and find a perfect place to do so.

Whoever is reading this, even if you held the gas in all day, it will escape in your sleep. TRUST ME. You probably farted in your sleep last night – I’m just saying!

PS: Guys, you know girls fart. If you fart, so do girls. A study has proven that when guys and girls eat the exact same food, girls tends to have even more concentrated gas than guys. So, our butt makes more wishes than you. The end.

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